we moved to a new house.
we figured since we're gonna be here for awhile, we'd make a fresh del rio start and move off base.
so far, its awesome. i'm so excited to see del rio and live pilot training from the other side.
the house is really starting to come together, and as the husband says "it looks like a grown-up house" lol
pics to come soon ... fingers crossed ;)
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
loss
we are no longer expecting.
after a few long and stressful days, i am finally able to say it out loud. and although, at times, it may only be to myself ... its a lot to handle. even if i wasn't progressed too far, i was still excited. and though there was nothing much too lose, i am still at a loss.
in a way i feel guilty. like i tried too soon. celebrated too soon. shared the news too soon. got excited too soon.
but at the same time i know it wasn't my doing. there was nothing i could have done to prevented it. everything happens for a reason. the lord works in mysterious ways.
and i hope and pray that i am able to give miss heidi a brother or a sister someday.
its amazing how something so small, can wreck you. turn your life upside down. make you wonder.
the world goes on. days pass by. life keeps living.
all in all, i think i'm handling it well. i have an amazing, healthy, beautiful, intelligent daughter that i am MORE than thankful for. i am already tremendously blessed. and i could someday make another person even half as awesome as her i would be so lucky.
and beyond having a great kid, i have a husband who despite being anti-affectionate, hugged me and kissed me, told me that he loved me and that everything was gonna be ok.
what more could i ask for? :)
after a few long and stressful days, i am finally able to say it out loud. and although, at times, it may only be to myself ... its a lot to handle. even if i wasn't progressed too far, i was still excited. and though there was nothing much too lose, i am still at a loss.
in a way i feel guilty. like i tried too soon. celebrated too soon. shared the news too soon. got excited too soon.
but at the same time i know it wasn't my doing. there was nothing i could have done to prevented it. everything happens for a reason. the lord works in mysterious ways.
and i hope and pray that i am able to give miss heidi a brother or a sister someday.
its amazing how something so small, can wreck you. turn your life upside down. make you wonder.
the world goes on. days pass by. life keeps living.
all in all, i think i'm handling it well. i have an amazing, healthy, beautiful, intelligent daughter that i am MORE than thankful for. i am already tremendously blessed. and i could someday make another person even half as awesome as her i would be so lucky.
and beyond having a great kid, i have a husband who despite being anti-affectionate, hugged me and kissed me, told me that he loved me and that everything was gonna be ok.
what more could i ask for? :)
Saturday, August 27, 2011
news
its been awhile ...
but so much has happened :)
after all that drama surrounding being ready to have a baby, after only two months of trying, we are happy to announce that we're expecting. with the limited info that we know now (my first appt. is on monday), our new addition should arrive in april :) the perfect birthday day present for big sister Heidi.
she is so excited ... and also confused why she can't have "her" new baby "now".
on the other side of our life, the husband just found out his next assignment. we will be FAIPing (aka: First Assignment Instructor Pilot) and staying in Del Rio for 3-4 more years. a little disappointed at first ... but with the aforementioned news, it'll be for the best. we'll still be close to family, the husband will be home for the new baby, and being a permanent party wife is kind of intriging :) i'm looking forward to what the future holds. plus, after this assignment, the husband is pretty much guaranteed to get what he originally wanted.
graduation is in two weeks. and according to the husband, our FAIP adventure should start soon after. and it all begins with more training lol :)
but so much has happened :)
after all that drama surrounding being ready to have a baby, after only two months of trying, we are happy to announce that we're expecting. with the limited info that we know now (my first appt. is on monday), our new addition should arrive in april :) the perfect birthday day present for big sister Heidi.
she is so excited ... and also confused why she can't have "her" new baby "now".
on the other side of our life, the husband just found out his next assignment. we will be FAIPing (aka: First Assignment Instructor Pilot) and staying in Del Rio for 3-4 more years. a little disappointed at first ... but with the aforementioned news, it'll be for the best. we'll still be close to family, the husband will be home for the new baby, and being a permanent party wife is kind of intriging :) i'm looking forward to what the future holds. plus, after this assignment, the husband is pretty much guaranteed to get what he originally wanted.
graduation is in two weeks. and according to the husband, our FAIP adventure should start soon after. and it all begins with more training lol :)
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
struggle
so after days and months of discussion ... the hus and i have finally decided we are "ready" for another bundle of joy. our beautiful baby girl is three now (omg!) and he's almost done with pilot training blah blah blah. we just figured ... what is a better time than the present. because there is never the "perfect time" ... and lord knows how long it will even take to get pregnant. it'll definitely be different having to try this time lol
speaking of getting pregnant ... this is where the struggle comes in. i have been so hesitant to talk to anyone about this, and i'm not really sure why. but i need to get it off my chest because it feels like it's eating me from the inside. and although i love the hus very, very much ... he's not much of a listener. or empathetic at all for that matter. but anyway.
so what felt like a success in coming to this agreement soon turned to dispair. for those of you that don't know, three months after having my beautiful bouncing baby girl, i opted to have Mirena, or an IUD inserted as my chosen method for birth control. it seemed like the most fail-proof and easy solution at the time. i figured ... if i can't remember to take the pill everyday at the same time as a single woman ... there is no way i'll EVER remember as a first time mommy. so the story goes ...
turns out, my lovely little "live-in" friend mr. mirena decides to not cooperate with the removal process for many reasons. a couple being that 1. the strings were cut too short (which my orignal l-ville obgyn failed to mention upon insertion) and 2. i was one of the lucky people whose, excuse my language when i say, uterus decided to realign and readjust the placement of the aforementioned device. yippy skippy! long story short ... three doctors have now attempted removal with no such luck. thank goodness for the loveliness that is tricare :)
so now, after weeks of worry that have seemed to go on forever ... i finally have a D&C scheduled. so it looks like mr. mirena has no other options but to come out. thank the lord.
as they say ... hindsight is 20/20. my only regret in choosing this as an option is that effects of the surgery/removal may do damage that might cause an inability to ever get pregnant again. and although it is a small risk (like they told me the risks of an IUD would be in the first place), there is still a chance.
three things: i am sad, i feel guilty, and i remain hopeful. sad because i would take it back if i could. sad because they don't inform (or didn't used to) of all the risks that go hand in hand with this device. sad that i may not get the chance to have another baby. and then guilty ... because i already have a beautiful toddler who i love more than my own life. guilty because i already don't deserve a child as wonderful as she is. and guilty that i am sad ... and maybe being slightly selfish. but i remain hopeful. hopeful that everything will work out and be ok. because that's the only option. hopeful that i won't disappoint my loved ones or my husband. i was an only child and want nothing more than to have a bigger family than i had. hopeful that no one will be hard on me or blame me for what could be perceived as a mistake.
but i can't go back in time. i can't take back the decisions i made. i truly believe that everything happens for a reason ... and what will be, will be. so for now i will try my best to stay positive (as its not always easy for me). and continue to hope that everything will work out in the end.
p.s. i once saw a psychic (yes i believe in it ... save your comments!) and she said that i would have another child :) it may be a shot in the dark, but who knows? i'll take all the good news i can get lol
speaking of getting pregnant ... this is where the struggle comes in. i have been so hesitant to talk to anyone about this, and i'm not really sure why. but i need to get it off my chest because it feels like it's eating me from the inside. and although i love the hus very, very much ... he's not much of a listener. or empathetic at all for that matter. but anyway.
so what felt like a success in coming to this agreement soon turned to dispair. for those of you that don't know, three months after having my beautiful bouncing baby girl, i opted to have Mirena, or an IUD inserted as my chosen method for birth control. it seemed like the most fail-proof and easy solution at the time. i figured ... if i can't remember to take the pill everyday at the same time as a single woman ... there is no way i'll EVER remember as a first time mommy. so the story goes ...
turns out, my lovely little "live-in" friend mr. mirena decides to not cooperate with the removal process for many reasons. a couple being that 1. the strings were cut too short (which my orignal l-ville obgyn failed to mention upon insertion) and 2. i was one of the lucky people whose, excuse my language when i say, uterus decided to realign and readjust the placement of the aforementioned device. yippy skippy! long story short ... three doctors have now attempted removal with no such luck. thank goodness for the loveliness that is tricare :)
so now, after weeks of worry that have seemed to go on forever ... i finally have a D&C scheduled. so it looks like mr. mirena has no other options but to come out. thank the lord.
as they say ... hindsight is 20/20. my only regret in choosing this as an option is that effects of the surgery/removal may do damage that might cause an inability to ever get pregnant again. and although it is a small risk (like they told me the risks of an IUD would be in the first place), there is still a chance.
three things: i am sad, i feel guilty, and i remain hopeful. sad because i would take it back if i could. sad because they don't inform (or didn't used to) of all the risks that go hand in hand with this device. sad that i may not get the chance to have another baby. and then guilty ... because i already have a beautiful toddler who i love more than my own life. guilty because i already don't deserve a child as wonderful as she is. and guilty that i am sad ... and maybe being slightly selfish. but i remain hopeful. hopeful that everything will work out and be ok. because that's the only option. hopeful that i won't disappoint my loved ones or my husband. i was an only child and want nothing more than to have a bigger family than i had. hopeful that no one will be hard on me or blame me for what could be perceived as a mistake.
but i can't go back in time. i can't take back the decisions i made. i truly believe that everything happens for a reason ... and what will be, will be. so for now i will try my best to stay positive (as its not always easy for me). and continue to hope that everything will work out in the end.
p.s. i once saw a psychic (yes i believe in it ... save your comments!) and she said that i would have another child :) it may be a shot in the dark, but who knows? i'll take all the good news i can get lol
Monday, May 2, 2011
victory
"It was nearly 10 years ago that a bright September day was darkened by the worst attack on the American people in our history. The images of 9/11 are seared into our memory...The worst images are those that were unseen to the world. The empty seat at the dinner table. Children forced to grow up without a mother or father. Parents that would never know the feeling of a child's embrace...September 11, 2001, in our time of grief, the American people came together. We offered our neighbors a hand, and the wounded our blood....We were united as one American family...."
-President Barack Obama
May 1, 2011
Saturday, April 30, 2011
blessed
as the month of april comes to a close ... its seems like a month of celebrations are ending too.
i am reminded how blessed i truly am.
i have an amazing husband, a beautiful daughter, an awesome family and great friends.
i couldn't ask for much more ... except a successful and fufilling career for the husband.
i truly hope he gets all he ever dreamed of. come what may.
i am reminded how blessed i truly am.
i have an amazing husband, a beautiful daughter, an awesome family and great friends.
i couldn't ask for much more ... except a successful and fufilling career for the husband.
i truly hope he gets all he ever dreamed of. come what may.
Monday, April 18, 2011
party time
after a month of numerous birthday celebrations -- a visit home, a trip to seaworld and a birthday/family dinner ...
we have officially conquered our first home spun party ... and it was an overall success.
several of the kiddo's friends from school came over and enjoyed some snacks, drinks and a bounce or two in the 'jumpy castle' as heidi likes to call it.
much fun to be had by all ... and now i need a nap hehe :)
in the end, it is all worth it ... just to see a smile on my little brown eyed beauty's face.
obviously ... the bounce house was a huge hit :)
the kiddo was a tad devastated when it had to be returned this morning ... poor thing.
we have officially conquered our first home spun party ... and it was an overall success.
several of the kiddo's friends from school came over and enjoyed some snacks, drinks and a bounce or two in the 'jumpy castle' as heidi likes to call it.
much fun to be had by all ... and now i need a nap hehe :)
in the end, it is all worth it ... just to see a smile on my little brown eyed beauty's face.
the kiddo was a tad devastated when it had to be returned this morning ... poor thing.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
wanderlust
so we traveled home for the kiddo's first weekend celebration for her birthday. we figured it out and we'll be celebrating heidi's 3rd birthday every weekend in april :) lucky girl.
back in dallas we shopped, went to the aquarium, saw a movie, took pictures in the bluebonnets, and spent some quality time with friends and family. it was nice to get away for awhile.
back in del rio, we will continue the birthday festivities. seaworld this weekend, heidi's official party the following weekend, and base's big easter celebration on the last weekend of the month. fun times will be had :)
love to all of those i saw while we were home; i miss you all.
thanks for making our trip fun and memorable.
and just think ... only six more months till we find out what fun adventures our lives will take next.
back in dallas we shopped, went to the aquarium, saw a movie, took pictures in the bluebonnets, and spent some quality time with friends and family. it was nice to get away for awhile.
back in del rio, we will continue the birthday festivities. seaworld this weekend, heidi's official party the following weekend, and base's big easter celebration on the last weekend of the month. fun times will be had :)
love to all of those i saw while we were home; i miss you all.
thanks for making our trip fun and memorable.
and just think ... only six more months till we find out what fun adventures our lives will take next.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
amistad
so the family headed out to the lake for the first time. we decided to have a nice new local friend take some pictures of us in our local surroundings ... and they turned out great. the little one had a blast blowing bubbles, splashing in the water, skipping rocks (or trying!) and enjoying the great outdoors. we learned about some 'lake hot spots' for our future visits and plan on going 'swimming' there when we get the chance. apparently, the water is always nice and chill and enjoyable.
<3
part of my heart will always be here
<3
part of my heart will always be here
Friday, March 18, 2011
first attempt
so after reading a fellow mommies blog, and remembering a co-workers once inspiring words, i will attempt to attempt this blog thing. i figure ... there will be a lot of travel in my future. therefore, a lot of distance between me and the ones that i love. so here goes ...
thrive where you are planted. a quote that, perhaps, i see on every item ever written or posted by a military spouse. when you marry, or even date, a member of the armed forces, you will, on numerous occasions, be uprooted from your surroundings that you know and love and be planted somewhere new. and, on occasion, that place will be less than amazing. i for one, have struggled with this 'replanting process'. although i am still in the same state i have grown to love over the years (against my better judgment lol), i am now in a different climate, surrounded by different people, and in a completely new environment. and although i hate to admit it, i was completely opposed to the whole idea. even rebellious at times. much to the peril of my husband, whose ultimate goal for my life is 'to just fit in'.
now, after being a part of the air force family for just over a year, i am finally starting to come to terms with my new life. i will never love del rio, texas ... but i will forever cherish the memories of our first home, our first base and our first assignment (although it is only APT). knowing that it is my job in life to be my family's biggest cheerleader has finally set in for me. and i almost feel guilty that it has taken this long. but, i am happy to know that my short comings have not effected my husband's career or future. he continues to amaze me and be brilliant and talented and amazing as always.
so i am really going to work at this. i know the whole laundry list of things that i need to work on ... and i will make every effort that i can to tackle them all. i married and amazing man with an awesome head on his shoulders and an exciting future awaiting him ... and together we made this beautiful person we are so lucky to have as our daughter. i just need to take the time to bask in it all. and cheer them both on along the way :)
thrive where you are planted. a quote that, perhaps, i see on every item ever written or posted by a military spouse. when you marry, or even date, a member of the armed forces, you will, on numerous occasions, be uprooted from your surroundings that you know and love and be planted somewhere new. and, on occasion, that place will be less than amazing. i for one, have struggled with this 'replanting process'. although i am still in the same state i have grown to love over the years (against my better judgment lol), i am now in a different climate, surrounded by different people, and in a completely new environment. and although i hate to admit it, i was completely opposed to the whole idea. even rebellious at times. much to the peril of my husband, whose ultimate goal for my life is 'to just fit in'.
now, after being a part of the air force family for just over a year, i am finally starting to come to terms with my new life. i will never love del rio, texas ... but i will forever cherish the memories of our first home, our first base and our first assignment (although it is only APT). knowing that it is my job in life to be my family's biggest cheerleader has finally set in for me. and i almost feel guilty that it has taken this long. but, i am happy to know that my short comings have not effected my husband's career or future. he continues to amaze me and be brilliant and talented and amazing as always.
so i am really going to work at this. i know the whole laundry list of things that i need to work on ... and i will make every effort that i can to tackle them all. i married and amazing man with an awesome head on his shoulders and an exciting future awaiting him ... and together we made this beautiful person we are so lucky to have as our daughter. i just need to take the time to bask in it all. and cheer them both on along the way :)
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